When it comes to baby feeding, I’ll be the first to agree that breast is best, but also the first to point out that in today’s world, it feels like a luxury.
With the growing popularity of two-person incomes, single motherhood, and many factors leaving staying home to be with your baby 24/7 becoming a privilege afforded by few, it’s important to recognize that all ways to feed a baby are valid and you’re still doing an amazing job, mama!
As a doula passionate about childbirth education, I thought I knew so much about babies, but nursing was not intuitive. I had so much help from friends and the community, both online and at home. We were blessed to use a lactation coach, @mamacoach, who got me on track with latching, timing, and weighted feeds.
I finally reached out for all this postpartum, amidst night sweats, broken sleep, hormonal shifts, and cracked, painful nipples…I highly recommend building your team before birth.
A Night in The Parlor
I sit here writing to you at 5am, with 2 hours of sleep in me, while my breastfed baby latches and unlatches 20 times, scooting up me and crying when finding there’s no magic nipple in my elbow crease.
This thought will take me hours to write. Between burping and hiccups, and spitting up what feels like oz of hard work on my part and his. I am his comfort, I am his sustenance, I am exhausted.
Breastfeeding is a journey I was not prepared for. Spoiler: I love my new job, and that’s what it is. A full-time job. The average breastfeeding mama burns 500-790 extra calories per day, nursing around 8 hours a day in the infant stage.
Here is what Johns Hopkins has to say about breastfeeding:
“Days 5 to 28”
Your baby will get better at breastfeeding as the first week progresses. Expect to feed your baby about 8 to 12 times in 24 hours. Let your child nurse until they release your nipple. You can then burp your baby, change their diaper, and switch to the second breast.
If half the day sounds excessive, realize that is just how many times they feed, not how many hours in the day they take to do so.
Babies who guzzle their food nonstop may let go of the breast (self-detach) in 10 to 15 minutes. Babies who like to slow down and enjoy their meals often take 20 to 35 minutes on the first breast.
Mine is more of a 35-minute baby. He was born 9 lbs. 4 oz and is a “lazy” nursery. He likes to take his time, fall asleep between gulps, and often multi-purpose me as a human pacifier.
Then we have the milestones. Your baby likely will go through several 2-to-4-day “growth spurt” periods when they seem to want to eat almost around the clock. Babies commonly have a growth spurt between 2 to 3 weeks, 4 to 6 weeks, and again at about 3 months. It is important to let your baby feed more often during these spurts.
So, if we do some really rough math, that’s 12 times a day for roughly 30 min at a time:
12 X 30 = 360, and there are 1440 min in a day
Hopefully, 480 of those 8 hrs. are spent sleeping, though as a mom, naturally not all at one time.
So that leaves 600 minutes in a day that an exclusively breastfeeding mom is not nursing their baby. Not to mention burping, changing, rocking, and trying to catch every waking moment with those precious eyes and fawning over every milestone.
So, let’s add 30 minutes to each feeding to burp, diaper, change clothes, suck out snot, and snuggle 10×30=300.
That’s 5 hours remaining to eat, shower, do the laundry, clean up your raccoon den, feed the dogs, be a wife, a friend, respond to one email or one of the 50 postpartum text messages you dearly want to read, and that’s if you get to be a stay-at-home mom or have any maternity leave. Chances are, if you’re in the US, you do not. So where sleeping fits in, God only knows, and if you have a contact mapper like me, well. I have no solutions.
5 hours broken up in between gassy wake-ups, wet diaper cries, and comfort nursing, or if you’re lucky enough to have a postpartum BM that day… well, there’s your whole naptime.
I wouldn’t trade the time I spend. I am blessed to have the opportunity to be home with my son and chosen to exclusively breastfeed for many reasons, limiting his exposure to plastics and chemicals being the biggest driver, but it’s not for everyone, and it’s not accessible to everyone in the modern world. I pray that every woman called to be a stay-at-home mom is able to fulfill that desire, but no matter how you feed your baby, how much you work, what you get done in the little moments to yourself. You are a mother, and your love and care are the most important things to offer your baby. Getting their needs met can look a myriad of ways, and they’re all valid if they’re getting the job done.
Unfortunately for those who can’t stay home, the options are limited. With only a few brands offering safe silicone for milk catching and storage bags. No alternatives I’ve seen for pumping that aren’t pure plastic components, and the thought that milk is often heated in plastic. It can be daunting to make changes to your already mentally, physically, and spiritually challenging vocation of motherhood.
A Couple of Little Tips
- Silicone or rubber vs plastic
- Research brands for their material list, ethics, and product testing
- Double-boil milk in a glass and transfer to a glass bottle so the bottle doesn’t get too hot (time-consuming unless you leave a double-boil pot out and designate it for quick use one-handed)
- Use same-day milk in glass containers when possible. If you’re pumping for a day away or for a night shift with dad, this can be an easy solution.
- Non-toxic brands offering BPA-free storage bags (be discerning, some companies just swap BPA for other BP’s, leaving you with another forever chemical under an undisclosed name).
- Breastfeed directly whenever possible if it’s conducive to your abilities, physical and mental health. Though nutritionally the most perfect food for a baby, you are not failing if it’s not something you can provide.
The point is, we need to be kind to our mama hearts and mama bodies. It’s hard enough just feeding our littles, trying to protect our babies from exposure to toxic chemicals should be easy. Unfortunately, many companies cut costs by adding these chemicals to their products. So just like their diet, education, or medicine, let’s make informed decisions that are right for our babies. Your mama heart will guide you in which little fixes to add along the way.
